Inspiration isn’t just about creativity for me – it’s about living. Being inspired, being creative, being happy, are all one. As I grow older I begin to realise that many of the seemingly diverse emotions I experience, like love, contentedness, elation, motivation, are just facets of a state of being that overwhelms me from time to time.
Maybe it’s because I have to be creative to be happy, and am happiest when being creative. But increasingly I feel that maybe after all, human emotions are not so complex. There is the good, and the bad. And tapping into the good can be achieved in an infinite number of ways.
I remember that when I was going through the toughest year of my life so far, about a year and a half ago now, I would surprise myself sometimes by suddenly encountering a brief but intense moment of pure elation. It would come upon me without warning, and at the time I thought of it as hope. It was something that would come to me in times of real crisis, almost as if it were a natural human reaction to extreme anguish. And it was almost always triggered by the beauty of sunlit room or garden.
I had probably always noticed that the beauty of nature had a particularly strong effect on me, but this was the first time that I thought about it consciously. I began to realise that it was perhaps beyond the normal human response to aesthetics. It eventually led me down the road of revisiting pantheism as a world view, something I seem to return to in times of need, but relinquish again once the need – whatever it is – is fulfilled.
Another effect that sunlit, leafy scenery has always had on me is the need to write, or create. I have sat by my bedroom window on many, many occasions with a notepad or laptop on the desk before me, writing myself into a pure and still contented feeling that is difficult to capture. I have written countless songs on my piano as the sun sets on my back, illuminating the wall before me in pink and golden tones. Snow has the same effect, but is much more rare when I live. But whatever way I attain it, this nature-linked, creativity-driven state seems to be one of the purest forms of happiness I feel.
Love is the same feeling. I have felt it with varying strength for many people, and these days I feel it most of all for my cat. So all of these things are completely intertwined for me – the beauty of nature, inspiration, love, happiness.
I think I would like this blog to reflect that. It’s a difficult concept to define, partly because it is so broad and so varied, and partly because it is purely emotional. But I would like, maybe, to have a place to write about the things that motivate me, the things that make me happy, the things that inspire me to live life. Because what is life without inspiration?